Tears of the Moon
by reia-chan
Summary: *chapter 5 subaru's pov is last chapter* epilogue coming soon. SUBARU'S POV: What's going on in Subaru's head? What's troubling him so much? Is he paranoid? *starts singing papercut* r&r!!
1. Tears of the Moon 1

Disclaimer: X doesn't belong to me, they belong to the Fab Four, CLAMP and some other people.   
  
  
Tears of the Moon 1/?   
reia shiioru   
  
What we have, we have;   
What we spent, we had;   
What we left, we lost.   
- Epitaph of Edward Courtenay   
  
  
~*~*~*~   
  
It has been a while since Subaru Sumeragi had gone and replaced Seishirou Sakurazuka as a Dragon of Earth and as the Sakurazukamori. Everybody was affected by the changes. The Dragons of the Earth considered it an advantage, while the Dragons of Heaven is now at a loss. But Kamui Shirou was clearly the only person who was most affected by the changes.   
  
  
~*~*~*~   
  
The teacher droned all throughout the algebra lesson that day. Kamui put his elbow down on his desk and rested his head on his hand. He placed down his pencil and gave up listening on the teacher. He looked out the window. No, nothing has changed since the incident. For him, it was all over, just as it was before. His dark violet eyes gazed at the green leaves that rustled with the wind.   
"No matter how many ways you look at it..." he mumbled. "It still looks the same..."   
Kamui sighed.   
  
  
~*~*~*~   
  
Drip...   
Drip...   
Drip...   
/kill/   
/kill/   
/kill/   
Stop it...   
/to kill.../   
I said stop it!   
/is your destiny/   
No, that's not true!   
/kill!/   
/kill!/   
/kill!/   
Urusei!! You're lying! It isn't true!   
/what is truth?/   
Wha... What are you talking about?   
/I'm asking you.../   
/what is truth?/   
No, you're trying to confuse me. Stop it!   
/you were destined/   
No! Shut up!   
/to be.../   
Usotsuki!   
/the Sakurazukamori/   
No, no, no, NO!   
  
  
Dark, mismatched eyes snapped open. The Tree smiled.   
  
  
~*~*~*~   
  
It was lunchtime at CLAMP Gakuen. Keiichi Segawa and Kamui were walking together. "Anou, Shirou-kun," Keiichi started, "I thought you were going to study with--"   
"No, not anymore," Kamui snapped, sounding annoyed.   
Suddenly, an ear-piercing scream sounded from down the hall. Kamui sensed the presence of a Dragon of Earth; it was in the direction of the scream. He immediately ran toward the origin of the scream. "Oi, Shirou-kun!" Keiichi followed.   
Worry was etched on Kamui's face.   
  
  
~*~*~*~   
  
She was a pretty young girl. She had dark blue eyes, a nice smile and short black hair with bangs that dropped gracefully on her face nearly covering her eyes.   
"Too bad. You looked so much like him, too," he said, his green eye glittered as a grin played on his lips. His black glove dripped with the girl's blood. It was too easy. The girl didn't even try to scream.   
"I have to go now. Somebody might see me."   
But before he left, he wrote something on the wall using the girl's blood.   
  
  
~*~*~*~   
  
There was a big crowd at the end of the hallway near the stairway. Kamui left Keiichi's side and pushed his way through the crowd. He was shocked at what he saw. A girl was lying on the floor covered in blood. Somebody had strangled her, then pierced her chest and went through her heart. There was a splatter of blood all over the floor and parts of the wall. But what caught Kamui's eye most were the writings on the wall. The blood red kanji was written neatly with the blood of the dead girl. His heart raced. He knew whose penmanship that was.   
"No... please no..." He said, barely a whisper.   
"Shirou-kun, is that...?" Keiichi had followed him.   
  
Kamui is MINE   
  
Kamui was shaking now; sweat trickled down his cheek. "How could you?" he whispered. Tears started to fall and memories started to flood. He felt faint. His legs couldn't support him any longer. "Why...?" he asked again, whispering. He fell back.   
"Shirou-kun!" Keiichi yelped. He caught Kamui just in time. "Shirou-kun, daijoubu?" Keiichi asked, worry dripped in his voice. No use. Kamui's mind was occupied by only one thing.   
  
"Subaru..."   
  
  
~*~*~*~   
  
  
It was dark.   
  
"What happened?" a familiar voice spoke.   
  
/Imonoyama-san?/   
  
"Well, we heard this scream down the hall, so we went to see what it was." Another familiar voice.   
  
/Segawa-kun?/   
  
"When he saw what was written on the wall, he started acting weird..."   
  
/Where am I?/   
  
"Well, thank you for bringing him here," Nokoru Imonoyama said.   
  
/Why am I here?/   
  
"You're welcome, sir," Keiichi said.   
  
Footsteps. One was going away, the other was coming closer.   
  
"So, he finally decided to take you, huh?" Nokoru said.   
Footsteps again, this time of three people. One of them pounded on the floor, as if whoever it was, was running for his or her life.   
  
"We came /huff/ as soon as /huff/ we found out..."   
  
/That voice... Sorata?/   
  
"What happened to Kamui, Imonoyama-san?" Sorata asked.   
  
"It seems that /he/ wants Kamui..."   
"NANI?! Subaru-san?!" This voice sounded higher than that of the others.   
  
/Yuzuriha...? What's going on?/   
  
"No, I don't believe that! Subaru-san wouldn't do such a thing! He just can't!"   
  
/Subaru...can't what?/   
  
"But he's now--"   
  
"I don't care! Kamui-san... and Subaru san... they were..."   
Sobs. Yuzuriha started crying. Somebody comforted the young Seal.   
  
/I want to know.../   
  
"So, what do you think, miss?" Sorata asked.   
  
"It is him, all right..."   
  
/Arashi?/   
/Why can't I see you?/   
/Where are you?/   
/Where am I?/   
  
  
Dark... it was all dark. He felt so weak. He tried to remember what had happened. His head ached. All he could remember was a tall figure, someone older than he was. Someone who had jet-black hair, emerald green eyes and an almost-smile that made his heart skip a beat.   
Then, he remembered nothing more...   
  
  
~*~*~*~   
  
The other Kamui was there in the alley. It seemed that he was waiting for him to arrive.   
"Welcome to my side," the other Kamui said, smiling.   
Dark, mismatched eyes looked away, hand in pocket. A smile played on his lips.   
  
  
  
  
~*~*~*~ tsuzuku


	2. Tears of the Moon 2

Disclaimer: X doesn't belong to me, they belong to the Fab Four, CLAMP and some other people.   
  
  
Tears of the Moon 2/?   
reia shiioru   
  
Light thickens; and the crow   
Makes wing to the rooky wood;   
Good things of day begin to droop and drowse   
Whiles night's black agents   
To their prey do rouse.   
-William Shakespeare, Macbeth   
  
~*~*~*~   
  
Kamui was standing in front of the dead girl again.   
/Why am I here? Shouldn't they have cleaned this up?/   
He looked at the girl and shuddered. It seemed that he was staring at his reflection. She looked exactly like him. His eyes shifted. Even in the dark hallway he could perfectly see the blood red writings on the wall. It was glowing bright red now.   
  
/Kamui is MINE/   
"I am not," Kamui said firmly.   
  
Kamui wondered what he was doing at the school late at night. /Shouldn't I be in bed by now?/ he asked himself. He started walking down the stairs and went into another dark hallway. As he went on, he felt as if someone was following him. He looked back. He found nothing and no one but the dark and empty hallway. He continued to walk, It seemed he was walking on forever. He turned left then stopped in mid-step.   
/Shouldn't there be a wall here? What's going on?/   
  
Kamui turned around again. He found the wall all right...it was right in front of him.   
/Nani?/   
/What's going on here?/   
  
"Hello, Kamui."   
  
/That voice...!/Kamui turned to the sound of the voice. Though it was dark, he could perfectly see who it was.   
  
"Subaru..." Kamui gasped. Subaru smiled.   
"You were the one who killed that girl...weren't you?" Kamui asked softly. Subaru shrugged. "Maybe...Maybe not. It depends," he said. Subaru started to walk toward Kamui. Kamui stepped back. His heart was pounding.   
/That's not Subaru/   
"Not me? How can you tell?" Subaru asked, looking at himself.   
"You can..." Kamui stared at Subaru.   
"Yes I can, But only for the moment."   
  
~*~*~*~   
  
"Is he still sleeping?" Seiichiro asked. He and Karen were visiting Kamui that night.   
"Yeah," Sorata replied. "It's been two days already."   
"I am sorry that we couldn't visit you as early as possible..." Karen said. Yuzuriha suddenly stood up, a hand on her chest. Little Inuki was barking at the stairs, agreeing with his master.   
"Yuzuriha, daijoubu ka?" Karen asked, rushing to Yuzuriha's side.   
"I'm OK," she said. "But I can feel that there's something in Kamui's room... He might be in trouble." All at the same time, Arashi, Sorata and Seiichiro got up and raced up to Kamui's room.   
  
~*~*~*~   
  
Kamui lost space to move back to. His back was touching the cold wall behind him. Subaru was closing in.   
"What do you want from me?" Kamui asked. Subaru didn't answer. He continued to walk towards Kamui. It was at that moment that Kamui started to gasp for air. It seemed as if someone... or something was crushing his lungs. The closer Subaru got, the harder it became to breathe. A hand came up and clutched at his chest. Kamui sank down to his knees. His eye locked at Subaru's mismatched ones.   
"Why?" Kamui choked. "Why are you doing this?"   
Subaru was now directly in front of Kamui. He knelt in front of him and stared at Kamui's glaring eyes. Kamui 's purple eyes glistened with tears as he glared at the man in front of him. Subaru placed a hand on Kamui's cheek and wiped off his tears using his thumb.   
"Can't you guess?" Subaru asked, sneering.   
  
~*~*~*~   
  
"Kamui!" Sorata yelled as he burst open the door to Kamui's room. "Oh gods..." Arashi gasped. Seiichiro just gaped at what they all saw.   
Black. A black void filled the entire room. No light ever passed through the room. Sorata was the first to enter the void. Nothing happened. Arashi and Seiichiro followed. Still, nothing happened. Then a candle appeared, an eerie blue light glowed from its wick. Still, not even a silhouette of any of Kamui's belongings. Or Kamui himself.   
"It's him..." Arashi said. Sorata took a step forward, but Arashi stopped him from going on. "Ah, miss, you DO care for me!" Sorata said smiling. Arashi didn't say a word. "I don't think that it's the best time to kid around," Seiichiro warned. "Kamui, where are you?"   
  
/I don't think he'll be able to hear you right now./   
/He is in my world. My domain./   
/I will not let him out until I am finished with him./   
  
It was Subaru. Sorata knew. He felt it deep inside him. "Damn you, Subaru! Give him back!" He demanded.   
  
/Be patient.../   
  
~*~*~*~   
  
"Who are you?" Kamui asked, shaking. "And what have you done to Subaru?"   
"Why, Kamui. Don't you remember me?" Subaru said, taunting.   
"You're... not Subaru."   
"Not 'Subaru'? How can you tell?"   
"He doesn't... doesn't smile like that. Besides... he would never... kill someone."   
"Oh? But how do you know it's not the /other/ me?" His hand was still glued to Kamui's face. Kamui felt so cold, yet his body was soaked in sweat. He still couldn't breathe properly.   
"What do you want from me?" Kamui asked again.   
  
//His death//   
  
"I want..." Subaru's face seemed to be getting closer... no, his face really /was/ getting closer. Kamui felt... scared, at the same time anxious. He didn't know why. Subaru came closer...and closer...and closer... until his cheek rested on Kamui's. Kamui twitched...felt uneasy.   
  
//He should die//   
  
"...You..." Subaru said. Kamui gasped and then stiffened. He didn't expect...   
Subaru drew back his free hand, raised it and got ready...   
  
//He is the one who hinders you from being one with me//   
  
"...To suffer..."   
Kamui's eyes dilated as Subaru brought his hand downward with speed.   
Blood splattered on the wall behind Kamui.   
  
~*~*~*~   
  
The candle grew short in time. It glowed brightly on its last seconds, then the room was filled with darkness again. Sorata and Arashi looked up. Seiichiro had gone home to his family. It was hard to see each other in the dark void that dominated the room. It has been over an hour since Sorata had spoken to Subaru. Then, there were three breathing patterns in the room. The black void started to fade slowly, very slowly.   
"Dare da?" Arashi spoke first, gently but firmly.   
  
/pant...pant.../   
  
"Arashi?" the third person said weakly. They could now see silhouettes in the room. the voice had come from the direction of Kamui's bed. Sorata had found the light switch and had turned it on. Kamui was sitting on his bed covering his eyes from the bright light.   
"Kamui!" Sorata and Arashi exclaimed. "Are you all right?" Sorata continued.   
"Aa..." Kamui answered. He was still clutching his heaving chest. He didn't seem to notice the wound on his left shoulder, which was still bleeding. "What happened to your left shoulder, Kamui?" Arashi asked. Kamui looked surprised and looked over to his left shoulder. And gasped. Arashi took a box from one of the cabinets in his room and asked him to take off his shirt. "So I can clean your wound," she said. ["Aww, how come miss asked Kamui to take his shirt off, and not me??" Sorata complained in the background]   
"Who, or what, did this?" Arashi asked.   
"It was..." Kamui hesitated, sad purple eyes downcast. "Subaru...But it really wasn't him at all." He had taken his shirt off, Arashi had started to clean the wound. Kamui winced.   
"Why is that?" Sorata asked. "Well, 'physically' it was Subaru..." Kamui began. Arashi was finishing bandaging Kamui's wound. "But there was something about him that wasn't Subaru."   
"Can you tell us what happened back there?"   
"..."   
  
"I guess you don't want to talk about that."   
  
Silence filled the room again, except for the sound of Arashi putting away the first aid kit.   
"What did he want from you?" Arashi asked quietly. Kamui looked melancholy with that statement.   
  
~/// flashback ///~   
  
"But how do you know it's not the /other/ me?" His hand was still glued to Kamui's face. Kamui felt so cold, yet his body was soaked in sweat. He still couldn't breathe properly.   
"What do you want from me?" Kamui asked again.   
"I want..." Subaru's face seemed to be getting closer... no, his face really /was/ getting closer. Kamui felt... scared, at the same time anxious. He didn't know why. Subaru came closer...and closer...and closer... until his cheek rested on Kamui's. Kamui twitched...felt uneasy.   
"...You..." Subaru said. Kamui gasped and then stiffened. He didn't expect...   
Subaru drew back his free hand, raised it and got ready...   
"...To suffer..."   
Kamui's eyes dilated as Subaru brought his hand downward with speed.   
Blood splattered on the wall behind Kamui.   
  
~/// end of flashback ///~   
  
"I..." Kamui looked down. "I can't tell you..."   
  
//Green eye glinted in the dark//   
//I want...you...to suffer...//   
  
Kamui's head began to hurt.   
  
//suffer...//   
  
He put both his hands on his head. "Stop it... go away!" he groaned.   
"Kamui, maybe you should get more sleep," Sorata suggested. Arashi agreed and she gently pushed him down on his bed and tucked him in. Sorata felt a little jealous. A hand still covered part of Kamui's head.   
"If you need anything, you know where to find us," Arashi said as they left the room. "It's gonna be fine, Kamui," Sorata said. He turned out the lights and left the room, leaving Kamui in the cold darkness. Kamui rolled over to his right side and closed his eyes.   
  
/Yeah, but until when?/   
  
~*~*~*~   
  
"Very nice..." Fuuma said. "But I think you missed a tiny but important little detail. Kamui is MINE. Keep that in mind." With that, he left the dreamscape.   
"Hn... Who died and made you master of the fates?" Subaru mocked. "I'll do whatever I want, whenever I want, you bastard." Then Subaru left the dreamscape.   
  
Kakyou leaned forward and gazed on the spot where Subaru had 'met' with Kamui.   
"I had warned you about this, Kamui," he said and went on dreaming.   
  
~*~*~*~   
  
"Kaichou, I have the information regarding the victim," Suoh said. Nokoru looked up from his desk. Suoh placed down the file folder. It was marked 'Classified'.   
"It just doesn't seem right, Kaichou," Suoh said, slamming his hand on Nokoru's desk. "Why would he kill someone who is not involved in the End of the World?"   
"It's not that. It's because Keiko Sayuki looks exactly like Kamui," Akira joined the conversation. "She also has the same initials as Kamui, see?" He pointed at the name of the student. Suoh blinked. "Akira has a point there," Nokoru said. Akira smiled.   
"So he's targeting people who look like Kamui?" Suoh asked, sounding a little confused. "Not necessarily," Nokoru replied "This is just the first, so there's not much evidence to prove our theories."   
"You mean..." Akira thought for a moment. "We have to wait for the next victim?"   
Nokoru nodded, a dark expression etched on his face. The others agreed in serious silence.   
  
Meanwhile, Kamui was in his dark room, dreaming of the dead girl and the blood red kanji again.   
  
Kamui was standing in front of the dead girl again.   
/Why am I here? Shouldn't they have cleaned this up?/   
He looked at the girl and shuddered. It seemed that he was staring at his reflection. She looked exactly like him. His eyes shifted. Even in the dark hallway he could perfectly see the blood red writings on the wall. It was glowing bright red now.   
  
/Kamui is MINE/   
"I am not," Kamui said firmly.   
  
Kamui wondered what he was doing at the school late at night. /Shouldn't I be in bed by now?/ he asked himself. He started walking down the stairs, but he noticed that something was wrong in this scene. The girl's blood started to ooze out again. The puddle of blood grew to about half a meter in radius. Kamui gasped as an invisible hand started to write on the floor with the girl's blood.   
  
"Ta...su...ke...te..." Kamui read as the invisible hand wrote in simple hiragana. There was a distinct resemblance of the penmanship on both the writings on wall and the floor to Subaru's.   
"Kamui... tasukete..." Kamui read on. " Stop it..." The invisible hand stopped.   
"Stop what? Subaru, is that you? Where are you?" A flood of questions raced from Kamui's lips. He was afraid. He felt so scared, he dropped to his knees. "Subaru...answer me... Please..." He sobbed.   
/What the hell is going on...?/   
/Onegai oshietukre.../   
  
Kamui felt the world in front of him fall apart. He looked around. He was back on his room, sitting on his bed. Beads of sweat trickled down from his forehead. It was morning already.   
"Another dream..." Kamui said.   
"Subaru..."   
  
~*~*~*~   
  
/The girl wasn't enough/   
/I want MORE/   
I... I don't want to kill anymore.   
I never wanted to in the first place.   
/You are mine now/   
/You will do whatever I want you to/   
No.   
I wont.   
Not anymore.   
/That boy... His name's 'Kamui' is it not?/   
/I know that that boy is the cause of all these/   
/I will erase everything that is linked to that boy/   
/Every bit until he, too, disappears just so you will obey me/   
No... not Kamui... not him   
Anything but Kamui...   
  
~*~*~*~   
  
It was a good thing it was a Sunday. Kamui was leaning on his window. Sorata told him that the Imonoyama had ordered him not to go to school anymore until it was safe for him. The morning sun glared at Kamui, as if getting mad at him for being so gloomy. he looked down at the greenery below. He saw a tree that looked like the tree where Kotori was buried. But there was another tree that caught his eye. Another tree that brought him memories of the Sumeragi.   
  
/// Kamui was leaning on a tree. A few weeks had passed since Kotori died. He missed her so much.   
"Kotori..."   
He heard footsteps from behind. Kamui looked around to see whom it was.   
"Oh, Subaru. It's you," Kamui said. He didn't know why, but he felt very strange when the Sumeragi was with him. He would feel weird and his heart would do flip-flops. This time, he tried to control it but it wouldn't work.   
"Kamui, is something wrong?" Subaru asked, coming closer. Kamui flushed. "No, it's just that I..." /Gods I hope he didn't notice/   
"You miss her don't you?" Subaru's deep emerald eyes looked intently at Kamui's sad purple ones. "Kotori, I mean."   
"U-un... I-I do..." Kamui stammered, looking down. "You must've felt the same way when you lost your sister." Kamui's eyes started to water.   
"Aaa..." Subaru said, watching the boy closely. "Kamui, are you sure you're all right?"   
"H-heki..." Kamui said, as he turned toward Subaru his leg got caught in one of the roots of the tree and he started falling. His face crashed into Subaru's chest; he had caught him. But catching Kamui got Subaru off-balance and they both went falling down the hard ground. Kamui turned pink. For a moment, his world stopped. He could smell the spicy-sweet scent of cigarettes on Subaru's shirt. He didn't dare look up. He felt satisfied just lying there with Subaru. Then he started crying all over again, for some reason he couldn't explain.   
"Subaru... can we stay here a little while longer?" Kamui asked in between sobs. Subaru answered by holding Kamui, pulling him closer. He placed a hand on Kamui's head and started to stroke his silky hair.   
A mix of emotions flooded Kamui as they lay there. Millions of thoughts raced through his mind. He didn't care if someone saw them together like this. He didn't care at all...///   
  
Somehow, Kamui felt pain and relief just thinking about Subaru Sumeragi.   
  
  
~*~*~*~ tsuzuku 


	3. Tears of the Moon 3

Disclaimer: X doesn't belong to me, they belong to the Fab Four, CLAMP and some other people.   
  
  
Tears of the Moon 3/?   
reia shiioru   
  
The private wound is deepest.   
-William Shakespeare, Two Gentlemen of Verona   
  
~*~*~*~   
"Kamui, are you sure you'll be all right?" Sorata asked.   
"Yeah, I'm sure," Kamui said opening the door. It was, as anyone not inclined to the End of the World would say a normal Monday.   
"The school might not be safe fore you. Imonoyama-san said--"   
"I don't care what he says," Kamui snapped. "Ja, itekimasu." He slammed the door behind him and walked away.   
/He shouldn't poke his nose where it doesn't belong/   
  
/I'm going to find out what happened to Subaru all by myself/   
  
~*~*~*~   
  
"Kaichou, I am detecting an abnormal energy wave in the campus," Akira said.   
"Angel?!" Suoh gasped.   
Nokoru looked so serious that none of the two dared speak more. They continued to monitor the screens and do whatever they can do to help.   
"Where is Kamui?" Nokoru asked.   
"Sorata said he went out..." Suoh said   
"Where?"   
"He didn't specify."   
"Go and look for him right away."   
"Hai!"   
Suoh left the room. Akira still surveyed the monitors.   
"What does he want to prove?"   
  
~*~*~*~   
  
Kamui stood under the shade of a tree as he watched people go pass by him, hurrying to go home. It was so hot that day, considering that the cold season was just a few weeks away. He leaned against the tree and turned to his left to see most of the CLAMP Campus.   
"K'so!" he gasped. He had forgotten not to put too much pressure on his left side; his wound had opened again. He tried covering the small bloodstain on his shirt with his hand, but the blood continued to ooze out. He was making it worse. He took a few steps back then bumped into someone.   
  
"Anou... sumimasen... Shirou-kun?"   
  
Kamui turned around. "Se-- Segawa-kun?"   
"Aa! Shirou-kun! You're bleeding!" Keiichi gasped, obviously alarmed at the sight of Kamui's bloody shoulder. "We have to get you to the clinic now!" Keiichi reached for Kamui's arm, but the latter pushed his away.   
"No need..." Kamui mumbled.   
"Wha--? What are you saying? It might get infected, or worse! Isn't that why you didn't go to school this morning?"   
"No, it isn't."   
"Oh? Anyway, we have to..."   
Kamui let the other talk, not like he didn't care. He did appreciate that Segawa was being thoughtful, but there was something else that preoccupied him at that moment. He was hoping that the person in a black coat wasn't who he thought it was. Hoping never did give him good. 'Subaru' was walking toward him, no, /them/. Hadn't he suspected that Keiichi Segawa was one of his targets, he would have run off by himself. He grabbed Keiichi's arm and ran off toward the fields.   
"M-matte, Shirou-kun. The clinic's the other way!"   
"We're not going to the clinic."   
"What? Where are we going? You have to get that wound fixed!"   
"We're going somewhere safe." Kamui was worried. He wouldn't let anybody else get hurt.   
  
/No, I'm not going to let you hurt anyone/   
/I'll stop you no matter what happens/   
/I'll do what it takes to bring you back, Subaru/   
/Because I.../   
/Because I.../   
/I.../   
  
Before they reached the clearing ahead, 'Subaru' had attacked with a dozen or more of his now black shikigami. Soil, mud and grass flew in all directions making them stagger a bit, but they made it into the clearing. Kamui stopped short as he saw who was there playing with an inugami. Keiichi was panting hard.   
"Yuzuriha... You have to get out of here. NOW," Kamui commanded.   
"Kamui-san... Is something wrong?" Yuzuriha said, clueless. ""She's right, Shirou-kun," Keiichi said in between gasps for breath.   
"Yuzuriha, you have to trust me. Get out of here!"   
  
Too late.   
'Subaru' had sent more Shikigami to attack them.   
"Kyaaaaaaa!!!" Yuzuriha screamed. She went flying back as one of the shikigami crashed in front of her. Inuki came yapping beside her. As for Kamui and Keiichi, their efforts to evade the shikigami were futile, resulting in the same way as Yuzuriha. Soil, smoke, grass and other stuff lingered in the air.   
  
Little Inuki started growling and barking. They were now inside the black void of a maboroshi: the Sakurazukamori's maboroshi. They stood in the black void and waited for the predator to come to his prey. Then they realized that they were standing in front of an oddly large sakura tree. It was the cursed Tree of which the Sakurazukamori fed their victims. It was the tree to which Kamui had lost a friend whom he cared for so deeply.   
The tree's branches started to move. They wrapped themselves around Yuzuriha and Kamui's bodies, around their limbs, their necks, their chests... Little Inuki yipped and faded. They heard the tree laugh a low baritone grumble. 'Subaru' was sitting on one of the Tree's thick branches watching as the two Seals helplessly wriggle their way out of the Tree's grasp. He looked at the person beside him, also enveloped in the Tree's branches.   
"What do you want?" Keiichi Segawa demanded. He kept his cool, though inside him he was tense. 'Subaru' just smiled menacingly at Keiichi who felt the cold rush down his spine. 'Subaru' stood up and leapt toward Kamui.   
  
"Feeling better, Kamui?" 'Subaru' asked coldly.   
"Get us out of here you bastard!" Kamui hissed, glaring at 'Subaru'.   
"Subaru-san, what happened to you?" Yuzuriha said quietly. She was on the verge of crying.   
"Yuzuriha, that's not Subaru," Kamui said. He turned back to face the other Subaru. He glared at him, cursed and waited for a response.   
"Where's your other friend, Kamui?" 'Subaru' asked. Kamui looked shocked, he forgot about him for a while; he started to look for Keiichi. Nowhere...   
"Dammit, what'd you do to Segawa-kun?!" Kamui said sharply. 'Subaru' smirked and gestured upward.   
"He's right there, Kamui."   
"Segawa-kun!"   
"Da-daijoubu, Shirou-kun!" Keiichi yelled. From where he was, they seemed so far away. This Sakura tree sure was enormous, even it's blossoms were larger than usual. Which was also one of the things that ticked his brain; the cherry blossoms aren't supposed to flower anymore in this time of year, right?   
"It's me you want. Let them go!" Kamui demanded.   
"Don't you get it, Kamui?" 'Subaru' laughed. "Then this wouldn't be as fun if I had finished you off already."   
  
Yuzuriha felt helpless just watching Kamui suffer like this. Something should be done to stop this insanity. /Inuki!!/ Yuzuriha's eyes lit up, she made sure that nobody noticed. She had a plan.   
  
"Where's Subaru?" Yuzuriha asked. Kamui looked at her, confused. 'Subaru' just humph-ed and looked back at the tree. The Tree opened up, revealing a small figure. It was the Real Subaru. He was curled up and tangled in the grasp of the Sakura Tree, arms across his chest forming an X, his eyes were glazed, eyebrows arched. It seemed as if he was struggling /inside/. Kamui gasped, beads of sweat trickled down. Yuzuriha decided, she was going to act. NOW.   
  
  
~*~*~*~ tsuzuku   
  
A.N.   
hahaha, cliffhanger. someone asked for a dictionary of the japanese words i use here. i'm too lazy to do it right now, so maybe i'll insert it in the last chapter. 


	4. Tears of the Moon 4

Disclaimer: X doesn't belong to me, they belong to the Fab Four, CLAMP and some other people.   
  
  
Tears of the Moon 4/?   
reia shiioru   
  
  
Ad astra per aspera   
/To the stars through difficulties/   
  
  
~*~*~*~   
  
"Where's Subaru-san?" Yuzuriha asked. Kamui looked at her, confused. 'Subaru' just humph-ed and looked back at the tree. The Tree opened up, revealing a small figure. It was the Real Subaru. He was curled up and tangled in the grasp of the Sakura Tree, arms across his chest forming an X, his eyes were glazed, eyebrows arched. It seemed as if he was struggling /inside/. Kamui gasped; beads of sweat trickled down. Yuzuriha decided she was going to act. NOW.   
  
~*~*~*~   
  
Somewhere, someone was crying. Tears slowly streamed down from beautiful emerald eyes. They were sallow and melancholy. They slowly looked up, not minding the bright light of energy from the outside. Green eyes looked intently above. They were pleading. Asking for help. They wanted to go outside. To the warmth.   
  
He lowered his eyes, realizing that death wasn't really what he wanted. Everything in his past was just a big part of what he was looking for. It really wasn't death. Loving /him/ was real, because what he was looking for was... different. Losing /her/ was real, because he had emotions. He continued to live... because of a reason. It wasn't anything important, but every human being looked for the same thing. Including a Sumeragi.   
Some people had passed him off with no emotion. No, they were wrong. He keeps them hidden in day; they haunt him at night.   
  
He was looking for life itself. Trying to find out what fits in and what doesn't, what comes and goes. More importantly, why everything is, and always will be, the same, repeated, cyclical, never ending...   
  
He knew he was trapped inside his heart, something he did a long time ago. But this time it was different. Something was keeping him inside there, releasing his other 'self'. It was hard, even before, to keep 'it' inside of him. It was difficult, but he knew that someday 'he' would come out. There was only one person who can release him from his state. But that person is gone now. He died because of a Wish, of a silly game.   
  
Somehow, he wished for someone to find the key and let him out. There was one person in mind and his name was... was...   
  
Odd...   
He couldn't remember.   
  
~*~*~*~   
  
Keiichi watched as his friend struggle against the person that he knew was a friend. Little by little, he felt his energy drain from him. /Must be the effect of being tangled in a giant sakura tree so high up.../ he thought. He watched the young girl named Yuzuriha. She looked different from before. She wasn't afraid any longer; courage seemed to fill her at present. Keiichi, on the other hand, felt weaker...   
  
A silent whistle echoed from her lips. Little Inuki materialized as an energy ball; the inugami cut through the Tree's branches, freeing both Yuzuriha and Kamui. This time they were more alert, dodging every strike of the now-sharp branches of the Sakura.   
Kamui leaped high, leaving Yuzuriha to distract the Sakura. He had to save Keiichi and bring back Subaru. It wasn't an easy task. 'Subaru' was waiting for him beside Keiichi. He scowled at the fraud.   
"Release him," he said adamantly.   
"Why would I do that?" 'Subaru' replied with the same quality.   
"Give him back, dammit!" Kamui yelled. Rage built within him, and accidentally released a large amount of telekinetic power. Nothing seemed to faze the fraud.   
"Kamui, I am stronger than the old," he said. "Don't underestimate-"   
"Just shut up and release Segawa and Subaru!" Gathering his power in a ball of energy on his hand, he jumped from his branch to his opponent's. The fake Subaru caught his hand, and grabbed Kamui's throat. "Uh-uh, one wrong move and this one dies," he chided. Kamui's power faded, he struggled to get the other's hand off his throat. "Shouldn't he be your first priority?" the other Subaru asked, he pointed to the closing trunk of the Sakura where the real Subaru was. Kamui continued to struggle, obviously wanting to get to Subaru in a hurry. He finally got free and started to go down the tree. Then there was a loud noise. He looked back, blood sprayed over his body. The new Sakurazukamori had killed his friend. Keiichi Segawa's body hung lifeless amidst the pink and black ropes around his body. Most of him was in tact, but the rest were...   
The Sakura had closed the door leading to where Subaru was. Yuzuriha was now limp and could barely fight. The Tree had worn her out and kept her away from Subaru.   
"A folly decision, Kamui. I'm sure we'll be meeting again soon." 'Subaru' said. He withdrew the maboroshi.   
  
Kamui and Yuzuriha found themselves back at the clearing at CLAMP Campus. Kamui fell to his knees. Not only did he fail in rescuing Subaru, it was his fault that Keiichi died. He didn't know what he would do next.   
It was already dark; the winds were getting colder. Yuzuriha limped her way to Kamui. "Kamui-san..."   
"I...I failed," he said softly; his bangs covered his eyes. Tears streamed down his cheeks. "I couldn't save him, much less protect him."   
"Kamui-san, we did what we could," Yuzuriha knelt beside Kamui and put an arm on his shoulder. Kamui gasped, he had barely noticed how much blood seeped through his still open wound. Tiny droplets of rain started falling.   
They heard footsteps running toward the clearing. "Shirou-san--!" It was Suoh, followed by Sorata and Arashi, they were each carrying flashlights.   
"Where were you two?" Sorata asked, a little too violently at that, waving his flashlight at the two of them. Kamui's head was still bowed and he kept silent. "Anou..." Yuzuriha began, hesitant. The rain started to fall harder. "There was..." Inuki started to yap, jumping about, as if danger was still lurking about. "Maybe we should head back..." Arashi suggested. They were all soaking wet from the rain. The rain was getting harder. Sorata helped Yuzuriha stand up while Arashi did the same for Kamui. Still, Kamui kept his silence.   
  
~*~*~*~   
Kamui sat still in his bed as dusk faded slowly. He'd been awake since they came back to the mansion. He couldn't sleep, afraid to dream.   
  
Hurt.   
Anger.   
Pain.   
It flooded in him. He couldn't do anything about it now. It was all over. Subaru was gone. He'd have to face it. He can't do anything about it anymore. Subaru... Why had he cared so much for him anyway? Why can't he forget him and get over it? He wasn't his childhood friend like Fuuma was. Why can't he let go of him? Tiny pearls of tears raced down his pale cheek. Why can't he...   
He stood up from his bed and looked out the window. A few more hours and the first rays of the sun could be seen in the horizon. He'd just let Fuuma find him and kill him, then. Did he care? He was uncertain.   
  
~*~*~*~   
  
Three DreamGazers watched as Destiny twisted and turned to a new path.   
  
  
~*~*~*~tsuzuku   
  
  
~*~*~*~   
  
A.N.   
Ok,ok. i know, i know, this is the worst chapter so far, but hey, i was in a slump for a week. dunno, maybe i was preoccupied with something else [maybe its that thought that i'm the youngest writer here. hmmm...]. the last chapter should be the next, but i still cant say. who knows what my twisted mind would think of next.   
i think the 'subaru's blank memory' bit was, well, 'icky'. heck, while i was writing that i was imagining subaru in my pale blue cotton pj's. then i started to laugh my head off. and oh yeah, one of our local tv stations dubbed the powerpuff girls. enough of this nonsense, comments please! 


	5. Tears of the Moon: EDEN

Disclaimer: The charas in this songfic don't belong to me.   
Neither does the song. They belong to their respective   
copyright owners, so don't sue.   
  
Comments: hmm... a part of this was taken from my TB/X   
poem, "Someday". Guess which! And uhm, this is the unedited   
version, but it still looks nice. And if anybody wants the   
edited version, email me privately. The edited version   
looks too mushy k'se[pardon me if i'm using my language].   
  
EDEN   
by: To Destination   
[Yami no Matsuei Opening Theme]   
[the english translated lyrics came from   
http://theria.net/yaminomatsuei/lyrics/eden.html]   
  
------------------------------------------------------------   
  
  
  
:: In the depths of damp eyes, the blue moon falls in pieces ::   
  
:: The bright world soundlessly disappears in darkness ::   
  
:: Running around in darkness during the countdown ::   
  
:: Then meet the new time, now... ::   
  
Subaru felt the bridge rumble, still, he didn't let go.   
He'd cried for the one he cared for.   
"Seishirou-san..."   
He felt so numb, so lifeless like the body he hugged so   
tight. Gods, he wanted to die then and there. He wanted so   
much to be with /him/.   
  
//Then, come with me// a voice said.   
  
He doesn't recognize anything anymore. His thoughts drove   
him crazy. He doesn't know what to believe. Then, he   
realized that he doesn't even know what 'reality or what   
'fantasy' is. He convinced himself that this was only a bad   
dream and that he'd wake up and Seishirou would still be   
alive. But something at the back of his mind snapped at   
him.   
  
//He's gone, baka//   
//You can no longer bring him back//   
//No matter how hard you wish//   
  
//You'll have to come with me, now//   
  
:: Injured black wings, in the light of the moon ::   
  
:: glimmer beautifully as they soar ::   
  
:: The crimson kiss now, has found its way ::   
  
:: Into the depths of my soul, then to my dream... ::   
  
It had been over a month when Subaru had appeared again.   
His heart ached because he was not Subaru. /No, Subaru   
would never do such a thing,/ Kamui told himself. He had   
fled from reality again. Couldn't face the facts. Couldn't   
accept the truth. Kamui told himself that he'd rather live   
in a fantasy, where Subaru was *alive*.   
  
All those weeks, he had thought that Subaru had died. He   
had repeatedly gone to where Rainbow Bridge was, still, he   
couldn't 'feel' him. But now, he'd shown himself. /The   
Angel's dreamgazer was right,/ he thought. /Someone did   
suffer... it was Subaru all along... I was too blinded to   
see.../   
  
:: The silent sky, disappearing into the trembling melody ::   
  
:: Now, put all into prayer ::   
  
Subaru was standing, no floating[?] somewhere bright. He'd   
thought he was sleeping for a month. /No, couldn't be,/ he   
thought. /Kamui would've woken me up./   
Kamui... Who was he? How did they meet? /Weird... How come   
I feel that I know him, yet I don't remember who he really   
is/   
  
Then, for a split-second, he thought he saw himself,   
staring back at him, grinning evilly. He gasped. He knew   
now where he was. He was somewhere he'd been a long time   
ago. Somewhere he knew he sealed off. He remembered what   
happened, but only in bits and pieces of a huge puzzle   
which was his memory. He couldn't seem to fill in the empty   
spaces. Time passed, he realized, and he'd been staying   
here for so long. He wanted out. But he knew he couldn't.   
Someone had to set him free. He wished, he prayed. He   
wanted to whisper someone else's name, other than   
Seishirou-san's. Oddly, he knew he had mentioned it only a   
few minutes ago, but now, he couldn't remember...   
  
  
:: Searching for the continuation of the closed dream ::   
  
:: Forever, I'll keep on walking ::   
  
Kamui sat on the floor, looking out the window. His neck   
ached, how long had he been looking out there anyway? Until   
now, he hadn't realized how beautiful the sky really was as   
the rising sun painted it lavender to a light blue. The   
stars slowly disappeared, knowing that they will rise in   
the sky again. Another day was beginning, Kamui scowled.   
For him, everything has ended. He'd just wait until the   
Promised Day to confirm it. It was the first time he said   
that. /It's much esier this way,/ he thought. He closed his   
eyes, he felt so tired. He'd been awake the whole night.   
Kamui sighed. A few hours ago, he'd asked himself why he   
couldn't let go of a certain green eyed person; why he   
couldn't forget about him. He hadn't noticed how pink his   
cheeks had become just thinking of him. He sighed again and   
stood up, and found himself staring at his mirror image.   
His gaze locked on his reflection. He examined himself, his   
hair fell messily on his face, slight pinkish color on his   
cheeks... He has changed, reason he didn't... No, he knew   
why he changed. A hand went up and held his cheek. He   
smiled sheepishly.   
  
"Subaru..." he whispered. Yes, that's why... he was the   
reason. He looked out the window again. The sky was now   
light blue, the sun was now a little further away from it's   
former hiding place.   
"I think... I love you..."   
  
:: Injured black wings, in the light of the moon ::   
  
:: glimmer beautifully as they soar ::   
  
:: The crimson kiss now, has found its way ::   
  
:: Into the depths of my soul, then to my dream... ::   
  
  
------------------------------------------------------------   
  
  
A.N. and nonsense rants:   
  
Ok, for those who are, as what kittyne refers to those who   
believe ignorance is bliss, 'morons', this side   
story/songfic takes place before chapter 1 and during   
chapter 4 of Tears of the Moon. It is intended for the   
so-called 'morons' to read this before chapter five. As for   
Kamui's last words, *aherm* I couldn't type them there   
until i minimized winamp and center notepad; Subaru was the   
theme of my desktop, and i can't help but feel that he's   
been staring at me when i was writing this!!!   
reia starts laughing like a maniac... 


	6. Tears of the Moon 5

Disclaimer: X doesn't belong to me, they belong to the Fab Four, CLAMP and some other people.   
Warnings: Uhm, I've taken the liberty of inserting a part of X vol. 14 here, so if you haven't read that, you might be spoiled. So, the best thing to do is to get a copy first, then read this.   
Other blabs: Yes, yes, I know. I'm inconsistent. What're you gonna do about that? Oh yeah, made one from Subaru's POV. Check it out!   
  
  
Tears of the Moon 5   
reia shiioru   
  
Nothing is lost on him who sees   
With an eye that feeling gave;   
For him there's a story in every breeze   
And a picture in every wave   
-Thomas Moore, Boat Glee   
  
  
~*~*~*~   
  
  
/Let me forget... all of the hate... all of the sorrow.../   
  
/Demo daiji na no wa "Ima soba ni iru... kimi no RIARU"/   
  
  
~*~*~*~   
  
The warmth of the sun spilled over the room as it sprayed it's light everywhere, driving the darkness away from the room. A stray beam of sunlight kissed the sleeping boy's face, waking him from his sleep. He propped himself up on his pale elbows and gazed outside the window. His amethyst eyes swiftly moved from the window to the door, where faint sounds came. There stood a green eyed young man, a Kansai boy and a pretty young maiden.   
  
Kamui looked confused. The one from Kansai spoke first. "Yo, Kamui! It's good to see you awake now," he said. "We were getting kinda worried that you wouldn't ever wake up." The tall green-eyed man walked up to him. "Are you feeling well, Kamui?" he asked and reached to touch the boy's forehead. Kamui slapped the man's hand away. /Don't touch me!/ he was about to say, but then he didn't have the courage, considering he was...   
His visitors looked shocked. Since when did he behave like that... especially to the Sumeragi? "I'm fine," Kamui managed to say aloud and without stammering. His bangs covered his dark eyes, his heart pounded fast.   
/What am I doing? Am I... dreaming again?/   
He started to feel pain flow throughout his body. /What's happening?!/ Unconsciously, Kamui curled up into a tight ball. Mentally, he screamed, though somehow that triggered something in 'reality'. He felt strong hands suddenly holding him. He heard the voices of the three people who came in his room. He heard Subaru's voice closest. He sounded... so worried.   
  
/Shouldn't he be on the other side now?/   
Warm, salty crystalline tears started flowing down his pale cheeks.   
/Doesn't he want to kill me... like Fuuma?/   
He felt those arms hold him closer to it's owner's body, spooning him in.   
/Why.../   
He clamped his weary eyes shut, denying his vision...   
/Why.../   
...Denying reality.   
/WHY?/   
  
Then Kamui fell into a deep slumber... in the arms of his supposed enemy.   
  
~*~*~*~   
  
Four Warriors of Heaven lounged in the living room of the Imonoyama Mansion, discussing the weird behavior of their young leader. A light snack of tarts and tea lay out on the center table as they had their talk.   
"It's weird. Kamui has never done that to Subaru," the maiden from Ise said. "That is so unlike Kamui. Usually, he'd let Subaru help him, but now..." the Kansai monk said. "That's strange alright," the younger Seal said, she was the one from the Mitsumine Shrine, "since Subaru-san is the only person who is closer to Kamui-san than any of us."   
"Maybe he's just stressed," The thirteenth head of the Sumeragi Clan said. He felt three pairs of eyes boring themselves at him. "Considering he *is* Kamui, he must be in some...emotional stress of sorts."   
"But aren't you worried, Subaru-san? I mean, you are after all, the person who--"   
"It is not my fault to whether Kamui is stressed or if he has any grudges against me," the Sumeragi said. Then he mumbled something muddled the rest of the Ten no Ryuu could not hear.   
"I should be going," he said and turned to leave. He hid his dark emerald eyes as he walked outside the rather large room. When he finally closed the large door behind him, he leaned toward it.   
"Kamui, what's wrong?" He sighed.   
  
Nekoi Yuzuriha sighed dramatically. "Now, how do we stand up against the Dragons of Earth?" The three remaining Seals kept still in their respective places, silence ruled over the three. A teacup was placed on its saucer noisily, making them all jump at the sound. "Saa, that scared me, miss!" Arisugawa Sorata exclaimed, his usual idiotic expression etched on his face. "Sorata-san, you and Arashi-san are so cute like that!" young Yuzuriha Nekoi exclaimed at the little scene in front of her. Both Sorata and Arashi looked shocked, in their own different (or perhaps personal?) way. Yuzuriha started giggling as her little pup snuggled beside her.   
  
~*~*~*~   
  
Pain. Yes, pain. That's what he felt all throughout his body. It stung. There were thin wires about his body, keeping him from falling into the deep pool of crimson blood. He felt so cold in this place. He felt blood drip from his own black wings. Wings that were trapped in the wires: the wires that wounded his body. The wires that made his whole body sting with pain.   
But he didn't mind that pain. What hurt more, was his heart. "Why...can't you see...?" he whispered in the empty void.   
  
"Kamui-chan, I know how it feels..."   
/That voice...Kotori?/   
Kamui lifted his pale face, and sure enough, Kotori Monou was there.   
"Kotori?" he whispered, his voice kind of weak. He didn't like that. "Kotori, is that...?"   
"Kamui-chan, I had to come here. I couldn't bear to see you pained like this," she said. Her long golden hair flowed as if there were wind inside this... emptiness. "What you saw... What you remember as a memory of that green-eyed man... was a dream."   
"Yume?" Kamui asked, startled. Kotori just nodded her head. She looked... vibrant despite being a spirit. She opened her soft pink lips and started to speak. "Kamui-chan, be strong. I know that oniichan has become someone different, but that doesn't mean you should give up all hope. You... you can bring him back. I can feel it.   
"I know that you have feelings for the green-eyed man. You shouldn't suppress your feelings like that. You'd get hurt even more. Kamui-chan..."   
Kotori took a few steps forward and reached for Kamui's delicate, silk soft face. It was moist from tears that flowed from his melancholy amethyst eyes. "Kamui-chan, don't let yourself succumb to your own 'darkness'. Promise me that..."   
Kamui rested his head on Kotori's soft hand. She felt so warm, as if she were still alive. "Aa..." he promised. He did that with all his heart. He knew... that somehow she was right. "Kotori... I..."   
"Shh..." She wiped the final traces of his tears from his eyes. "Kamui-chan, just believe in yourself. Follow your heart." Taking a deep breath in, Kamui closed his eyes. "Thanks, Kotori," Kamui whispered. Kotori smiled, then she vanished like a candle's flame on the last remains of its wick.   
And so, Kamui was alone again.   
  
Kamui shifted in his sleep, oblivious of what was happening in the real world, oblivious of his nightly visitor. He brushed his ghost-like fingers across the pale cheek of the young one in front of him. Kamui didn't flinch, or make a sound.   
  
"It's been a couple of days, Kamui...When will you wake up?"   
  
~*~*~*~   
  
"Is he still asleep?"   
"Hai, Subaru-san's been watching him."   
"Su-- Subaru... san?"   
"Un!"   
"But I thought..."   
"No, even though he knows that Kamui somehow changed, he still watches over him."   
"But I..."   
"Admit it. I think they're cute together, too."   
"E-eh?"   
"A-hahahahaha! Honto deswa!"   
"What are you talking about? If Subaru hears you---!"   
  
~*~*~*~   
  
Rest. A peaceful and undisturbed rest. He liked that. It gave him time to reflect on what she had said.   
/Kotori, you're right. Maybe... I should tell him how I feel, ne?/   
/I should do what I have to.../   
/Subaru.../   
  
"....'Kamui'?"   
A familiar voice. Wasn't he...?   
"..... Can you hear me?"   
Slowly, he lifted his head. He felt blood trickle down his cheek.   
".... You have been hurt a lot..."   
He listened intently.   
"In body and in spirit..."   
He was the Angel's DreamGazer.   
".... Will you give up your "wish"... ?"   
He kept silent. Will he? Would he?   
".... If you go on wishing, you will be hurt again."   
Did he deserve the pain?   
"To know what you don't want to know... To see what you don't want to see... Even so..."   
Silence. What did he want? Did he want Fuuma to come back? What /was/ his wish now?   
"....will you go on wishing?"   
He decided.   
He was...determined.   
"Now that... both Fuuma and I are 'Kamui', no one can stop him but me..." Kamui said.   
His voice was firm. This was his decision...   
"I will... not waver anymore. I will become stronger than he is. I won't let him... kill anyone anymore." /Especially Subaru/   
...His responsibility. What he wanted.   
"Even if the "Kamui of the Dragons of Earth", no ... even if "Fuuma" will be hurt by your powers?" the DreamGazer asked. He wanted to be sure of the Kamui of the Dragons of Heaven's answer. Kamui also wanted to make sure of what he really wanted.   
  
"Yes," he said finally. ".... I have decided.... I will get Fuuma back."   
  
"I know.... How you can achieve this.... Would you like to know?"   
"If what you say is true."   
Kamui...should believe. He should know.   
".... If you use the Holy Sword, you will meet "Fuuma".   
"However ... That ... will lead to further tragedies..."   
".... What do you mean...?"   
".... In everyone, there dwells another self. A gentle heart and a cruel heart. A beautiful heart and an ugly heart. Everyone... has such opposing hearts. "The other Kamui" who brought you so much pain is you as well.   
".... Moreover, someone close to you is also suffering because of the "other self". The face this person shows to you may not be its entirety."   
/Subaru... It's Subaru, isn't it?/   
Kamui looked worried. "You are the DreamGazer of the "Dragons of Earth". Why are you telling me this?"   
Kakyou glanced down. "I know the final outcome of this war. However, even knowing the Future, I cannot do anything about it, or change anything."   
  
Kakyou started to leave the dreamscape. Too much pain... Too much...   
".... Maybe that's why I wanted to believe in the last words said by the girl   
who loved you, 'The Future is not yet decided'."   
  
/The future is not yet decided.../   
/Kotori... I hope you're right./   
  
Then, he felt something pulling him away. No, it was someone. He looked up.   
/Subaru?/   
  
"Thank goodness..." Subaru said softly. /Will he remember? Does he still--/ His thoughts were disrupted by Kamui's soft voice ringing in his ears.   
  
".... Subaru..." Kamui was rather pleased. It really was a dream. Subaru wasn't an enemy. Rainbow Bridge wasn't destroyed. And he was here, on his bedside, watching him as he slept. /Oh, Subaru... if only.../   
"You are still not well enough," Subaru said. Kamui smiled inwardly, hearing him say that made him feel warm all over. "Have I been here.... long...?" Kamui asked. Subaru relaxed. /Good, he didn't remember anything from two days ago.../   
"You had been unconscious ever since Arisugawa-kun brought you here."   
"How are Sorata and Arashi?"   
"Both of them are fine. They weren't injured."   
/Oh.../ Kamui looked down. He saw... He saw Subaru's hand holding his own. Just like that time...   
"Have you been... holding my hand all this time?" he asked.   
"You did that for me when I was unconscious."   
"...Thank you..." Kamui flushed. He hoped that Subaru wouldn't ever notice. /Kotori, I'm too scared. I'm too scared to tell him right now. Maybe... it's something to be left unsaid.../   
  
Kamui felt happy, though. He hadn't felt this way in a very long time. He'd forgotten about the awful dream he had. The one about Subaru wanting to hurt him   
/Subaru'd never hurt me, ne Kotori?/ Kamui smiled. Just talking to Subaru, just being with him, made his day complete.   
Then, Sorata and Arashi came in his room, asking if he was OK, etcetera and etcetera.   
He'd be fine, he knew he would. As long as /He/'d be there, as long as he knew /He/ was all right. He'd be fine.   
  
~*~*~*~   
  
Somewhere, deep inside someone's heart, a deeper evil lurked. It smiled, glad that everything was going the way it's supposed to. Everything destiny wanted was going to happen. Everything they saw will happen. Nobody can change destiny. Not even the Promised One. Not even his Twin Star.   
  
Fate was never meant to "derail".   
  
  
owari   
  
  
  
~*~*~*~   
  
Author's Notes:   
  
*sigh of relief*   
  
Yatta! I finally finished it. C&C appreciated! *nikoniko*   
Gomen nasai, I know it was late, but I had so much to do.   
  
Anyway, I really didn't expect Tears to end like this. I was asking Kittyne-chan for suggestions for the end result of Kamui and Subaru's dilemma, and well... It's her fault. Don't blame me. Uhm, if anyone's asking, the first two lines of my ficcie came from two songs I like. One's from X Japan, and the other from an anime series I kind of liked. A cookie to anyone who can guess both!!!   
OK, so the last sentence was quite opposing to Leah-san's ficcie, but what the heck. This is *my* ficcie, and I could do whatever I want to, ne Dark-chan? *patpat* [dark-chan: purrrrrrr ^^] Besides, I was listening to my fave mp3's when I wrote this, so I was kind of in a weird mood. hehe^^ And some of the lines used here was c/o Utako-san's translation of X-14. Thank you, Utako-san for the translations! Now, if there would be someone who'll translate the latest volumes...   
  
  
Oh, yeah, special thanks go to Kittyne-chan for beta reading some of this mess, and to Sheriyouko-chan who inspired me to write this [yes, you inspired me, Sheri-chan! 'member when you got mad at me?? That's when!]. I love you guys!! 


	7. Subaru's POV

Disclaimer: X doesn't belong to me, they belong to the Fab Four, CLAMP and some other people.   
Warnings: Uhm, I've taken the liberty of inserting a part of X vol. 14 here, so if you haven't read that, you might be spoiled. So, the best thing to do is to get a copy first, then read this.   
Other blabs: This is taken from Subaru's POV on the last chapter, people. It was kind of hard to write, but hey, I'm proud to say I did it! Yes, yes, I know. I'm inconsistent. What're you gonna do about that?   
  
  
Tears of the Moon 5: Subaru's POV   
reia shiioru   
  
Nothing is lost on him who sees   
With an eye that feeling gave;   
For him there's a story in every breeze   
And a picture in every wave   
-Thomas Moore, Boat Glee   
  
  
~*~*~*~   
  
  
/Let me forget... all of the hate... all of the sorrow.../   
  
/Demo daiji na no wa "Ima soba ni iru... kimi no RIARU"/   
  
  
~*~*~*~   
  
I felt something stir in Kamui's room, so I stood up from my chair and set my book aside. Two other of my comrades must have noticed it too, for they stood up from their table in the large library. Sometimes I dislike having to be in the Imonoyama Mansion. Moving from one place to another often meant having to walk long ways. I rushed to Kamui's room; Kishuu-san and Arisugawa-kun followed close behind. He must be having another nightmare again. Since Arisugawa-kun brought him back from one of his recent interactions with the other 'Kamui', he'd been unconscious, dreaming for days. Sometimes, I found him whimpering in his dream, calling out for someone. That's why I volunteered to watch him these few days. But then, there was something else...   
  
I opened the door to Kamui's room. I sighed, I am glad to see that Kamui is awake now. He is staring at the window. He must have heard us enter his room, and turned to face us. His expression went from calm to something between being afraid and being confused.   
"Yo, Kamui! It's good to see you awake now," Arisugawa-kun said. "We were getting kinda worried that you wouldn't ever wake up."   
I walk up to him, sensing that he didn't feel well. "Are you feeling well, Kamui?" I ask, reaching to feel if he had a fever.   
  
He pushed my hand away, something he did that expressed he was... angry? I felt Arisugawa-kun and Kishuu-san tense behind me. They must be thinking why Kamui did what he did; normally he would let me touch him. "I'm fine," Kamui said. But I felt that he wanted to say more. There was definitely something wrong. It was then that Kamui started to sway, then started to scream. He was in pain again. I rush beside him and hold him in my arms. He was shaking now. "Go get the nurses!" I yell at Arisugawa-kun and Kishuu-san who followed immediately. They ran out of the door and down the stairs. /Kamui... don't make me worried,/ I thought. "...Why..." I heard him whisper. Kamui has closed his eyes now, but he still hadn't stopped shaking. I held him closer. At that time, somehow, I felt scared. Scared that I might lose something important to me. Then, memories of almost a decade ago started coming back. /Hokuto-chan.../   
  
~*~*~*~   
  
Later that day, a few of us Seals gathered at the Imonoyama Mansion's rather large living room. They were discussing Kamui's rather weird behavior over tarts and tea. I just kept silent, kept my comments to myself. /Maybe he's just stressed,/ I said to myself. I didn't realize that I had said that aloud until I felt them gazing at me in some peculiar manner. "Considering he *is* Kamui, he must be in some...emotional stress of sorts."   
"But aren't you worried, Subaru-san? I mean, you are after all the person who-," that was Nekoi Yuzuriha.   
"It is not my fault to whether Kamui is stressed or if he has any grudges against me," I said. Funny, I sounded like Seishirou-san that time. I looked away from them and whispered to myself, "Besides, I'm not in a position to decide how Kamui's supposed to feel." Which was true. I cannot, and would not for that matter, control the way he feels, the way he thinks and the way he acts. Those are only unique to Kamui himself. I promised myself not to become someone like Seishirou-san. I wouldn't hurt anyone nor treat him or her like something that can be thrown aside easily. Now I've depressed myself, so turned from the wall where I leaned and walked toward the door. "I should be going," I told them. When I finally closed the door behind me, I felt so much like a jerk. I mentally kicked myself for that.   
"Kamui..." I absently whispered. "What's wrong?" Softly, I sighed, hoping that somehow, Kamui could hear me. Slowly, I made my way to my room.   
  
Everything started to confuse me. Was this another illusion of the Sakurazukamori? The Sakurazukamori... the nemesis of an onmyouji. Seishirou-san...   
Seishirou-san, sometimes I wonder if there was something I could do to set you free. I... all these years of searching, and it ends up in a more important battle to save humanity. All these years of searching and I end up back where we started. Hopeless, no window of opportunity, not even a single stray beam of light. Is everything a game to you, Seishirou-san?   
I fumble with the doorknob and enter the room. Then I realized that I entered the wrong room. This was Kamui's. The nurse had put a sedative in his system, calming him down, relieving him of his pain. But nothing could take away the pain in his heart. Like me, he had lost many important people in his life. Those he cared for... Someone so close to him died because of someone he loved, just like me. Yuzuriha was right when she said that he and I were alike. Not just the face, she added. Did we, really? Kamui moaned and curled up, kicking his blanket off the bed. I picked it up and made sure he was comfortable in his sleep. "Oyasumi," I whispered. I hadn't realized that I was caressing Kamui's face. I had sat down beside him. What had he told me before? He wanted to protect that special someone he cared for. I smile. I understand how he feels. To protect that 'special someone' even if it would cost your own happiness, your freedom, yourself. Just to do that is a great sacrifice.   
Kamui, you are too young; too young to handle such great responsibility as to saving humanity. Fate... is so cruel to have chosen you.   
  
~*~*~*~   
  
"Is he still asleep?"   
"Hai, Subaru-san's been watching him."   
"Su-- Subaru... san?"   
"Un!"   
"But I thought..."   
"No, even though he knows that Kamui somehow changed, he still watches over him."   
"But I..."   
"Admit it. I think they're cute together, too."   
"E-eh?"   
"A-hahahahaha! Honto deswa!"   
"What are you talking about? If Subaru hears you---!"   
  
That was the conversation I heard from the other room. Too late, I've been listening. I was looking out the window when the conversation started. Sometimes it annoys me that I have Arisugawa-kun and Yuzuriha as my comrades. Fate... you're too cruel.   
Two days... it's been two days since /that/ day. I've been watching over Kamui, yes that's true. Kamui hasn't changed. He's just asserting himself. Last night, I heard him talk in his sleep. I hope that he'd be waking up soon. We can't afford to lose another kekkai to the Chi no Ryuu.   
  
I had my hand clasped to Kamui's. An action he had done when I was in the hospital after that incident. Kamui had cried a lot and blamed himself. He should stop doing that. Feeling guilty about something he didn't do made his emotional wounds get even worse. "Kamui, please wake up..." I say to the sleeping form. I just look at him, wishing...hoping...   
As if he heard my small plea, Kamui stirred and slowly opened his eyes.   
"Thank goodness..." I sighed. I tightened my grip on his hand. I just wish he didn't remember. I just hope that...   
"Subaru..." Kamui whispered softly. There was something in that voice. Something different from his usual tone. I just can't figure out what... Kamui tried to sit up, but...   
"You're still not well enough," I tell him, he shifted his position to look at me. I can feel that he's anxious. "Have...I been here long?" He asked me. Ah, so you don't remember what happened... Good. But then, somehow, I felt guilty. "You had been unconscious ever since Arisugawa-kun brought you here," I told him calmly, hiding almost nothing.   
"How are Sorata and Arashi?"   
"They're both fine. They weren't injured."   
  
We both indulged in a conversation, something to hold on to as a memory. To Kamui, I must have been some kind of 'savior', it seems. For me, Kamui is... a special friend.   
  
  
owari   
  
~*~*~*~   
  
A/N   
So this one's short. But I think it's cute. Though, it's hard to put yourself in Subaru's shoes... -,-;   
For other notes, see my a/n on the 'real' chapter five.   
*reia-chan starts singing forever love* 


End file.
